The Soft Answer

Verbal T'ai Chi for sociable self-defense

Welcome to the Soft Answer Resource page!
  • Links
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  • PocketCards
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Read about the low-drama Danish tradition of Hygge

Karen Hough's article on how "
Yes, but…" is the "Evil Twin" to "Yes, and…"
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PocketCards are reminder cards you can carry with you or keep in convenient locations where you can refer to them and

To Make:

PocketCards can be made using blank business cards, 3x5 index cards, or even sticky notes. Consider using bold markers to make the words appear clear and strong. If you don’t want to write your PocketCards out by hand, you can use a word processing program and print them out. Many programs ave templates for business cards, and there’s paper stock made just for that.

You may want to keep more than one set of PocketCards handy!

To Use:

Select a 1-5 PocketCards that are especially meaningful for you and carry these with you in a pocket or wallet, or keep them handy in an office or kitchen drawer.

Put the cards in places where you will naturally “bump” into them frequently throughout your day so that the ideas can begin to become habit.  It you’ve made more than one pack of PocketCards, you can have duplicates of these 1-5 cards in several places—even better!

When you suspect a verbal altercation may be imminent, take a quick look at these to remind yourself of a technique or two from the course. Take note of what works for you and what doesn’t, and keep a record in your Soft Answer notebook.

As the ideas on your PocketCards start to come more naturally to you, swap these cards out for others.

Gradually, over time, you’ll begin to develop an internal sense of what techniques are the best fit for you, and which to use when.
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